“Encumbered forever by desire and ambition, there’s a hunger still unsatisfied” – words of wisdom uttered by David Gilmore, at the end of his journey as the front man of one of the world’s most famous bands – Pink Floyd. We often wonder what prompted a man of this magnitude to make such a severely disillusioning statement. Gilmore had everything going for him. At least everything that is considered important by worldly standards. He had enormous amounts of fame, money, adoration, admiration, success and anything else that the human mind could conceive as success. And yet, he remained dissatisfied. What then is true happiness? What is success, what is true contentment? These questions have been gnawing our minds for a while now forcing us to ask the most fundamental question of all time – WHAT IS LIFE and WHAT IS IT’S PURPOSE?
Ever since I was a child I felt torn between two states of being. One state that was ever changing based on my thoughts and feelings. As a three year old I tasted my first ever chocolate. This induced a nice and happy ‘feeling’ in me. I associated chocolates with that happy feeling and registered a thought that chocolate would be the source of my contentment. Also, I had my first taste of being punished by my mother for breaking a toy. I felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness, guilt and pain at being punished. I registered a thought that I should behave a certain way with my mother in order to avoid feeling that pain again. Thus, began the formation of what I call my ‘personality’. Through every stage of life I kept forming thoughts or what I call mindsets. On examining these ‘mindsets’ I realize that every mind set was created in order to avoid experiencing a bad feeling (anger, guilt, pain, sorrow) or to experience a good feeling (happiness, joy, etc.). Gautama Buddha called this karma. Buddha said, “Karma is the body’s endless desires. Karma is the memory of past pleasure we want to repeat and past pain we want to avoid. It is the delusions of ego and the storm of fear and anger that blocks the mind.”
However, throughout this process of thought and feeling there was a state of being that was observing this whole process like a detached observer. If I stay very still and observe myself very carefully, that state of being surfaces and takes over. Then instead of the actor, or the participant, I become a mere observer of life, of the events and occurrences, of the thoughts and emotions. That state has remained unchanged, unscathed and unaltered by the passage of time.
Then I look around me. I look around at the world and its myriad processes. People around me, always in a hurry, running helter skelter. Corporate professionals running to work at nine am. School children running to school. Business men running toward meetings or running toward deadlines. People running toward money, toward goals, toward happiness, status, health, love. Politicians running toward power, companies running toward profits, countries running toward ‘development’, running running running . . . As I became aware of this mindless quest that I was a part of I made a conscious choice. I decided to STOP! However, just like when a train in furious motion comes to a halt gradually, my process of coming to a standstill also occurred gradually. And just as the passengers in a train that has halted still feel the inertia of motion, I too felt the urge to go back on the run. My inertia was my fear and insecurity. But the only experience that defeats that fear is the thought that there does exist something called infinite bliss, and the only criteria for being able to attain that infinite oneness, is being human.
Great saints that walked the earth from time immemorial have uttered the sacred truth that we are all one. To me this has come to mean that our inherent nature is the same. I identify this nature with that state of being in me that has remained unchanged with time. In the quest for life’s true purpose we have come to realize that walking this path alone is virtually impossible for the common man. However, it is important to realize that there is a path. A path devoid of the quest for making money, or striving for fame, love, or anything else resulting in momentary happiness. This is the quest toward realizing the true nature of our self. This quest is all the more powerful if one has a partner or a group of people to share it with. We are all here to carry each other on the path toward ultimate liberation from this bondage called life. So, ask yourself again –What is the true purpose of your life?
